


Sometimes I think it's gettin' better And then it gets much worse

by BiffElderberry



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley (Good Omens) is a sad bastard, Light Stalking, M/M, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Unresolved Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 09:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20225230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiffElderberry/pseuds/BiffElderberry
Summary: It took him eight years. Eight years after Aziraphale had given him the holy water, before he was here again. Outside the angel's bookshop.





	Sometimes I think it's gettin' better And then it gets much worse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hearthouses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearthouses/gifts).

> Inspired by Big God by Florence and the Machines, the music video for which is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kIrRooQwuk and I recommend it because that was like a religious experience. I watched/listened to it and knew I had to do something for this prompt. I hope you enjoy!

**March 29, 1975**

It took him eight years. Eight years after Aziraphale had given him the holy water, before he was here again. Outside the angel's bookshop.

Crowley supposed it was some kind of record. At least for them. Hell, it had taken him 2,000 years after he first met the angel to run into him again. He had always kept tabs on him of course, it was part of his job, but there had always been more than professional curiosity.

Then he had to go and cock it all up by asking Aziraphale if he wanted him to drop him off anywhere.

_ You go too fast for me, Crowley. _

The words still echoed in his head. He had examined them for the first two years, playing the scene over and over in his head, trying to decide if there was a double meaning to Aziraphale's words. The next four years had been spent trying to block out the memory of that night. Especially late at night when he had nothing else to do but think. After that, Crowley just missed Aziraphale.

It wasn't unusual for them to go years without seeing each other; after all, they had all of eternity. But there was something about it this time. It just felt too final.

And so here he was. Sitting in the Bentley outside of Aziraphale's bookshop.

Aziraphale was in there, he knew it, but as soon as the Bentley pulled up, the blinds were pulled and the lights were out. The shop looked vacant. But that was okay. Crowley could wait.

It took a week.

One week of Crowley sitting outside the shop before finally there was a tap on the glass of his car.

"You've been here a while," Aziraphale commented as Crowley climbed out of his car.

"Well, you've been avoiding me," Crowley replied, leaning easily against the Bentley despite the fact that his nerves were strung tight.

"I have not," Aziraphale replied tersely, not able to meet Crowley's eyes.

It pained Crowley. He missed  _ them _ . He missed having that easy-going comradery that they had been building to. Why did he have to go and open his mouth eight years ago?

"I've just been busy," Aziraphale supplied when Crowley said nothing. "Lots of good going on around here. Besides, it's not like you've been reaching out."

"I'm here now," Crowley replied. "Look, I'm already late." He was supposed to be going to Albuquerque, New Mexico of all places. "I just-" He hated this. "I miss you, I miss us. I know I made things awkward with the- you know. And I know you don't feel the same way, I do, but can we just go back to being friendly with each other?"

"I didn't realize we weren't already friendly," Aziraphale answered back, his arms crossed over his chest. It wasn't what Crowley had hoped for, but he knew it was what he deserved.

"Right, well, I have to get going," Crowley said, too quickly. He had been a fool to come here. He had over analyzed everything and just fucked it up even more.

"Crowley, wait," Aziraphale sighed, keeping the door open.

"I'm not an idiot," Aziraphale started. "I know how you feel about me."

"Yeah, and how do you feel?"

"Crowley," Aziraphale sighed. "It would never work out. Not with our head offices.”

"I didn't ask how the head offices would feel about it," Crowley scowled. "How do  _ you _ feel about it?"

"I can't do this." Aziraphale shook his head. "It doesn't matter how I feel, because regardless of any feelings I may have, we can never act on them. I would fall, and you - I don't even want to know what they would do to you. There is no universe that we could be together in.”

Crowley could feel his heart sinking at Aziraphale's words. He knew they were true. The combined powers of heaven and hell would conspire to stop them. But it still hurt.

"So you need to go do whatever errand they're sending you on, and when you get back, we can feed ducks in St. James Park or dine at the Ritz," Aziraphale continued. "And we can go back to normal."

"Right," Crowley replied. "See you later then." He peeled out of his parking spot and into traffic with barely a thought to the traffic around him.

_ There is no universe that we could be together in. _

Aziraphale was right. There was no universe they could be together in currently. So he would just have to make one.

  
  



End file.
